Mindful Meditation in Relationships
Relationships aren’t destroyed by cataclysmic arguments. They are eroded by the little things that happen over time. We’re all excited when a relationship starts. We watch what we do. We edit our actions and mind our words. We gloss over the details because we love the dream of what could be. We sacrifice the now for what we want in the future.
As our relationship grows, we get comfortable. We stop editing ourselves and return to our old habits. Sarcasm drips back into our words. Those little side comments and the not so subtle glances that we once held back are now tossed out without a thought. It’s not that we no longer love, it’s just that we are not quite as careful of our actions, and neither is your husband, wife, partner or lover. Learn more about dating and relationships.
Trust that your partner will support you and respect you is eroded by the little comments that seem to slide out without a thought. Respect is eroded through the forgetful actions that make you feel as if you don’t matter like you once did. Yes, relationships usually end in a cataclysmic fight, but that is not where they are torn apart.
This is exactly why just a little bit of meditation can be such an important tool in maintaining a healthy relationship. It will not make you magically love each other more, but it will make you both mindful of the little things that can undermine a relationship, so that you can start taking an active part in your life, rather than watching it unravel from the sidelines as if you had no say in it. Also, that means you can start living the life you love, with the person you want to love in it.
The little things that you start to pick up on, and that your partner picks up on just as quickly, don’t seem important enough to bring to your partner’s attention, but they still chip away at you. Even worse, they don’t go away. They layer up, little by little, until one day you wake up feeling not so special anymore. Then you do what we all do. You lash out. Usually at some seemingly unrelated issue that acts as a release valve for how you’ve been feeling.
We all do this. It’s part of human nature. It’s in our wiring. We hold onto the little things until they become a big issue. We wait until enough comments and asides build up before we register it as important enough to do something about it. By then we’re not discussing the little issues at hand, but everything that has ever been said in the past.
Without even thinking those little comments are able to elevate a remark about how a friend acted last night, into an all-out attack on everything that has ever been wrong in your relationship. Remark by remark you both escalate until the two of you are at each other’s throats without knowing why. You stop discussing facts and start responding to whatever out of our innate desire to be on top. You stop talking and start trying to get the last word in. It’s no longer about understanding. It’s about winning. And that is the opposite of what love is about.
Author Jeff Cannon
Mindful Meditation in Relationships by Jeff Cannon, Author of the Simple Truth
Meditation as an important tool in maintaining a healthy relationship, all healthy and lasting relationships start with you. Meditation is a way to train yourself to stay open to loving ideas of equanimity and acceptance.
Meditation alone will reduce the general level of stress that people bring into a relationship. The less stress one has, the less defensive they become. Therefore, being or starting a relationship will be healthy.
